darkinherheart:

Send me five times kissed for a drabble novel

_{i.              She’s lost in a sea of students ( she’s lost him ), the Great Hall living up to its name & making her feel even smaller. Her eyes roam, not from place to place like the other first years who can’t get enough of their new home away from home, but from person to person — until her eyes fall on a head of blonde hair ( she doesn’t know this, can’t, but later on she’ll be able to spot that same head of blonde hair anywhere. ) It only takes a few steps before she’s at his side, & a few moments for her to realize how restless he is. He’s nothing but a cool mask of confidence, grin playing on his lips when he realizes who’s found her way next to him, but there’s something off ( she’s not sure how she knows but she does. ) So she stands on tiptoe, pressing a light kiss to his cheek because it’s the only thing she can think of, because she realizes she doesn’t like him not being okay. When he turns, it’s the first time she sees surprise on his features ( sees anything but the credence he exudes ), but it’s not a bad kind of surprise, & whatever had thrown her off earlier is no longer there, so she smiles. & when her name is called ( Argent, Allison — all eyes are on her immediately, especially the table clad in green & silver ) she realizes that her fingers aren’t shaking anymore. She glances back at him, eyes wide & there’s a smile playing on her lips ❛ See you soon. ❜ & for the first time, the thought of being sorted in the house of snakes doesn’t seem so bad.}

_{ii.                               She’s soaring, dark locks billowing behind her, she can’t hear the warnings, doesn’t care, her eyes are on one thing & one thing only —— & he’s falling ( forever at odds, Allison Argent & Luke Castellan. ) She’s never ridden her broom so hard, has never pushed herself to fly this hard in her life. Nothing’s ever been this important. Despite everything, despite every bone & muscle ( & everything else within her ) SCREAMING, she can’t stop — & she’s still not fast enough. The sickening crunch feels like a physical blow, eyes shutting briefly before feet touch the ground, her broom discarded within seconds & she’s finally at his side. She doesn’t care that she’s LATE, doesn’t care that this grants her automatic disqualification, she doesn’t care; all that matters is that he’s on the ground, eyes half-shut, his arm bent at an awkward angle towards her. ❛ I’m here. ❜ Had it been anyone else, she’d look away but she can’t — he isn’t just anyone. Her lips brush the palm of his hand ( her father used to kiss her pain away when she was little. It used to help. & Allison Argent can’t stand seeing Luke Castellan in pain, she’ll do anything ) as eyes roam over him for further injuries. ❛ Hey, hey you’re going to be okay. ❜ She’s not sure for who’s benefit the words spill forth from her lips ( she’s trying not to choke on her words ), all she knows is she can’t stand the sight of him in pain ( & he knows, Merlin she knows he’s not making nearly as much noise as he should be. ) ❛ Someone get Pomfrey! ❜ Her voice is much louder now, addressed at everyone but the boy before her, yet her eyes never leave his. ❛ Now! ❜}

                _{She doesn’t know when his eyes shut, but she doesn’t leave his side, not once.
                He wakes to a small figure hunched up in the chair at his bedside, fast asleep.}

_{iii.                           She’d received the dreaded news by owl weeks ago. She had stayed in bed for a day, had given herself one day off, one day to hurt because Allison Argent? She wasn’t like this, she wasn’t weak. That day, she didn’t sleep ( as if she could! After that night, sleep was no friend of hers ) she merely shut her bed curtains tight & allowed herself a day to mourn. The last time she had spoken to her mother hadn’t ended on a high note; they never seemed to see eye to eye — she was the black sheep ( or LION ) of the Argent family, & no one hated that more than Victoria Argent.}

           _{But she hated weakness the most. & that was what dragged Allison out of bed that day. That was what made her go back to class, chin raised high ( because pride was such an awful sin ) as if she dared anyone to say anything.}

                   _{Some tried. & were shut down immediately.}

        _{She didn’t want pity, didn’t want to show weakness or be perceived as weak. No. Instead she was angry, she was harsh edges & sharp words. She became distant & quiet. She attended classes with a determination that made even her teachers worry. To anyone who hadn’t seen Allison Argent before, who hadn’t known the girl that had been there mere weeks ago would have thought Allison to be just like her family. Gone were the soft smiles & the sound of her laughter. Gone were her friends ( who needed attachments when in the end, all they did was HURT? ) Her walls had been built up so high that nobody really bothered anymore.}

                          _{Except one. There was one person who still remembered the girl from before,
                                              understood the one who was left behind.}

_{It’s not the first time he’s approached her since the news, not the second or third time either, but this time was different. This time, the sight of the boy that had been at her side that first year, that first moment on the train made those walls come crashing down ( or maybe she was just tired, so very tired. )}

_{She’s not sure what he says, she’s not sure what her sharp reply was, but she hears one thing —  ❛ I’m not just going to leave you here. ❜ & just like that, the dam breaks & she hides her face from him, but the sobs are given away by the way they silently wrack her frame ( it’s the first time she’s cried since that day. ) & suddenly, she’s in his arms, face pressed to his chest, incoherent words muffled by black & green robes.}

_{She tips her head back, eyes finally meeting his — they’re not the eyes of the girl he’d first met, nor the eyes of the girl who’d rushed to his side that day he’d been hurt, but they’re still Allison.}

                      _{Pale lips meet his when words escape her. He can taste the salt on her lips.}

    _{❛ Promise you won’t leave. ❜ It’s a false echo of his words from earlier, her voice small but the words so full of something neither can put a name to. She doesn’t wait for an answer, lips finding his ( perhaps she already knew what it would have been, perhaps she thought she did. )}

_{Later on, he does give her a promise, but she doesn’t realize until much later that it’s not the same as the one she’d asked, but it had sounded so similar.}

                                                                               _{❛ I promise I won’t ever hurt you. ❜}

_{( not quite iv. )                                         She’s not comfortable in the serpent’s den, the lion clad in red & gold clashes with everything within the dark dungeons ( in more ways than one ) — but she’s at ease with him. Sleep eludes her, so she spends more time here. But Allison Argent? She’s exhausted. They had been studying on the black couch by the fire, yet somehow she’d ended up with eyelids fighting ( & failing ) to stay open & her head resting on his shoulder. She feels something brush the top of her head & almost instinctively, she returns it by pressing a kiss of her own against the closest part of him she’s got ( his chest? his shoulder? She’s half asleep, she’s not quite sure. )}

                         _{His friends don’t like her, she knows that. Traitor is what they call her.
                                Her friends don’t like him either. Poison, they called him.}

                                                          _{If they could only see him now.}

_{iv.                                          Flashes of color brighten up the dimly lit forest, like fireworks in the night sky. She meets the masked figure blow for blow, yet he seems to dodge her with ease ( & most of his hexes miss her by this much, she can still feel the heat from the last one as it had brushed past her, singing her skin. ) Something about it feels wrong, wronger than a fight like this usually does. There’s a familiarity she can’t quite put a finger on — it’s as if they’re dancing, as if she’s falling into step with something she had memorized ( & forgotten ) long ago. One of her hexes brushes past him this time, causing the silver obscuring his face to fall —}

                                                   _{& with it so does her wand ( & her heart. )}

     _{❛ No. ❜ There’s silence, their duel taking them further away from the others — it’s just them ( & once upon a time, that had been everything. ) His eyes are wide & her head is shaking, denial seeping into her bones. ❛ No it can’t be. ❜ Except she can spot that head of blonde hair anywhere.}

    _{❛ What are you doing? ❜  She can’t even speak. She can’t. ❛ Grab your wand. ❜ No. No no no no no no NO. ❛ Dammit Allison fight back. ❜ But he hasn’t sent a curse her way since she’s dropped her wand, is it fighting back when the other can’t? Is it fighting when you could never hurt the other? ❛ I have to take you if you don’t —  I can’t just — ❜ & that snaps her back, fire burning her veins ( her heat, her very soul ) as color rises to her cheeks. It’s as if he knows, wordlessly, he summons the discarded wood ( weapon. ) Her wand is in his hands, & he’s shoving it into hers. ❛ Take it. ❜}

_{She does, but she doesn’t raise it, not once. She takes a step towards him. & another until his wand jabs her ( in the heart, as if it could hurt any more than it already is. )}

_{❛ You wouldn’t. ❜ You promised is what she doesn’t say. She stares into his eyes, defiant ( because that’s what Allison Argent does when she hurts, doesn’t she? ) She waits for him to do something, anything. & when he doesn’t?}

                                                                             _{She leaves.}

  _{When she’s back in her flat, pouring cold water on her face ( nothing can wash away what she’s dealt with today ), a light scratching draws her attention. Wand in hand ( it’s never too far, not in times like these ) she finds her way to her window — the source of the noise. An owl waits in the cold, a small scroll of paper outstretched for her.}

                                                                              _{Our place. Tomorrow, 2:00.
                                                                              I promised.}

_{Short. Concise, no details lest the owl were intercepted. Yet she knows exactly who it’s from — & where he wanted to meet.}

            _{Hogsmeade, just behind the Three Broomsticks. That’s where they used to meet. It was less crowded than the front & it made sense ( nothing did anymore. ) Now the town is abandoned, the war has wormed its destruction into everything since it began ( it had started long before they had left the walls of Hogwarts. ) He’s there, hands in his pocket, head down. No mask, no hood. She can almost pretend it’s a few years ago ( but the parchment in her hand — & the ache in her heart remind her it’s not. God it’s not. ) His head snaps up at the sound of her footsteps but neither say a word. She thinks she sees him exhale when he sees her.}

                                                                 _{As if she wouldn’t come.}

_{He asks her to join them, join him, asks her to choose the side her family would ( — does he realize that he’s family too? ) He tells her they don’t need to fight.}

                                                                              _{He tells her he doesn’t want to hurt her ( he promised. )}

_{She almost believes him ( or really, she just pretends she does, she just really wants to. ) She wants to be back on the same side. She doesn’t want any repeat of the previous night, doesn’t want to fight him, doesn’t want to hurt him — doesn’t want to see him dead. She tells him as much. She asks him to join her.}

_{His lips are against hers ( always against each other, always against the world, always at odds ) & this isn’t fair, this isn’t supposed to hurt. There’s salt on their lips again & she’s murmuring the same thing over & over again — ❛ You promised, you promised. ❜}

                                                                              _{❛ I’m sorry. ❜}

                                                                              _{& he’s gone.}

_{She’d lost him that first day too, but there’s no finding him now ; that boy is gone.}

_{v.                               She’s rushing to him, dark locks a tangled mess, her scream the only thing she can hear besides the pounding of her heart. She realizes it’s not a scream but a word, one word, repeated over & over. ❛ Luke! ❜ She doesn’t care that he’s dressed in death eater garb, doesn’t care that her side is yelling at her to stop, she’s at his side in moments. He’s crusted in dirt ( & something else, God there’s so much of it too. ) ❛ Hey. I’m here. ❜ & it’s a choked sob, her words an echo of a lifetime ago. His eyes see her but they don’t. So she does the only thing she can think of ( her father had once told her that you could kiss away the pain — Merlin there was so much pain. ) She wants a reaction, anything. Lips crash against his, begging for him to fight dammit, for him not to leave her ( not again. ) Another sob escapes her & she pulls back, wild eyes searching his.}

                                                                              _{& she knows.}

_{❛ Hey. It’s okay. It’s okay. ❜ It’s a broken echo from a million years ago, but slightly different. He’s not going to be okay — but it’s okay. It’s her response to that last apology before he’d left, it’s her response to the words he doesn’t say but she sees so clearly in his eyes. ❛ It’s okay. ❜ & she’s no longer sure for who’s benefit she repeats the words, but she does. She presses her lips to his, one last time.}

                                                                              _{❛ It’s okay. ❜}