❛ history of japan ❜ starter meme

spiritdanced:

So I saw this video for the first time and I’m trash so take this and enjoy it. (Or not. That’s cool). Feel free to change/add/whatever anything to make it fit. Blanks mean “insert your word here” I guess.

• ‘ Japan is an island by the sea filled with volcanoes and it’s B E A U T I F U L. ’
  
• ‘ It’s b e a u t i f u l. ’ 
  
• ‘In the year negative a billion ______ might not have been here. ’
• ‘ And now there’s lots of trees. Because it’s warmer. ’
  
• ‘ They’re basically hanging out in between the mountains, eating nuts off trees. ’ 
  
• ‘ Ding dong, it’s the outside world. ’
  
• ‘ They have technology from the future. Like really good metal. And crazy rice farms. ’
  
• ‘ That means that if you own the farm, you own the food, which is something everybody needs to survive. So that makes you King. ’
• ‘ A heavenly super person, or Emperor for short. ’
  
• ‘ Knock, knock. Get the door. It’s religion. ’
  
• ‘ Please try this religion. ’
  
• ‘ Then the government was taken over by another clique. ’
• ‘ Can you call us something else, other than dipshit? ’
  
• ‘ How about ‘Sunrise Land’? ’
• ‘ They conquered the north, finally. Get that squared away. ’
  
• ‘ They really didn’t give a shit about running a country. ’
  
• ‘ How are you supposed to protect your shit from criminals? ’
  
• ‘ Hire a samurai. ’
  
• ‘ Everyone started hiring a samurai. ’
  
• ‘ Correction: rich people hired a samurai. ’
  
• ‘ They let the Emperor still be “Emperor”. ’
  
• ‘ Breaking news: The Mongols have invaded _____. ’
  
• ‘ We’ve invaded _____. Please respect us, or else we might invade you as well. ’
  
• ‘ So the ______ came over, ready for war, and died in a tornado. ’
  
• actually a Typhoon
• ‘ And the Emperor can still dress like an emperor if he wants. That’s fine. ’
  
• ‘ It’s time for Who’s Going to be the Next Shogun? ’
  
• ‘ So he tries to get his brother to quit being a monk. ’
  
• ‘ Everyone voted so hard that the palace caught on fire and burned down. ’
  
• ‘ Knock knock, it’s Europe. ’
  
• ‘ No, they’re not here to take over, they just wanna sell some shit. ’ 
• ‘ Like clocks, and guns, and Jesus. ’
  
• ‘ Now I’m going to invade Korea and then hopefully China, he said. And failed. And also died. ’
  
• ‘ A lot of people support him. But a lot of people support not supporting him. ’
  
• ‘ No one can leave and no one can come in. Except the _____. ’
  
• ‘ Knock knock. It’s the United States. ’
  
• ‘ Somehow made the Emperor the Emperor again. ’
  
• ‘ And you know what else is western? That’s right, conquering stuff. ’
  
• ‘ Stop, no, you can’t take that. We were going to build a railroad through here to try and get some warm water. ’
  
• ‘ Can you maybe chill? ’
  
• (scared of russia)
• ‘ ___ make an alliance together so they can be a little less scared of Russia. ’
• [You’ve got mail].
• ‘ im interested in taking over the world, and i was wondering if you could be my friend. ’
  
• (1) new war request.